Bad hair day? What do you mean?

Babies are insane

Behavior that would be considered extremely bizarre in adults is somehow cute in babies. Like, blowing bubbles and saying buh buh buh for hours at a time, just because you can. Or writhing around on the floor with your entire body wrapped around a stuffed inchworm. Or making repeated attempts to roll from your back to your front... only to find yourself on your tummy, which you hate. Or trying to get your entire fist in your mouth, instead of your lunch. Every single time.

Happy Father's Day!

One of the best parts about having a baby is watching two people you love fall in love with each other.

Where'd you get those ears?

Owen had his first ear infection this week. It was scary. He was fussier than usual Saturday evening and he woke in the middle of the night with a high fever. We went to urgent care Sunday morning but they missed it, so until Monday noon we didn't know what was wrong. Needless to say I didn't sleep much during that time, both because he wasn't sleeping well and because I was so worried. I was completely knocked out by two nights of not sleeping. It made me realize what a delicate equilibrium we operate at on a daily basis.

But the fear and the worry and the sleep deprivation weren't what hit me hardest. What did? Hearing the words "he has an ear infection." At first, it was sheer relief - they had found the source of the problem, so he didn't need bloodwork or a catheter or a spinal tap. But just a split second later, I had the horrible realization that it was probably my fault. Some of you have known me long enough to remember that I was plagued with ear infections as a child, including repeated surgeries for "tubes". As chronic illnesses go, it was minor, and my hearing is fine now, so I can't complain. And, I know this is just one ear infection. But, he's so little. And he was in so much pain. And he might have gotten it from me.

Until now, it's been possible to imagine that Owen would only ever receive the very best from us. That we would pass on all the best of Mike's traits and all the best of mine. When the doctor said "he has an ear infection," I lost the purest form of that hope. I felt Owen's pain as if it were my own, I faced the likelihood that he had that pain because I was his mom, and my heart broke for him, all in a split second. And then I started thinking of all the other things that I hope he doesn't inherit from me. I think that in that moment I first felt the full weight of responsibility of motherhood.

Thankfully, the antibiotics worked and he's better now. Let's hope we find similarly quick fixes for any other imperfections we may have stuck him with.

Yawn...

This "working mom" thing would be a heck of a lot easier if I could sleep as much as Owen does!

Ch-ch-ch-changes

We were warned about this, but I still find it remarkable how step-like Owen's advances are. I mentioned before that he seemed to become a conscious being overnight (it was on April 10th). Now that he's three and a half months old, he's climbing to a new plateau. Instead of just looking at toys, he's playing with them - or at least grabbing them and shoving them in his mouth, which seems to count as "playing". And although he's been smiling for a while, he does it differently now, smiling and laughing as though he knows he's interacting with us. He's less of a newborn and more of a giggly, drooly - and mostly happy - baby.